I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
