His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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