my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
