good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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