I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
