So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
