We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
