this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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