Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
