KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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