where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
