the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
