I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
