Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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