I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
