Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
