You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I didn't notice because vodka
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
