Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
