Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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