Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
