You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
