what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
