dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
