dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
