We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
