After last night, I could never be a politician.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
