I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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