Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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