I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
