So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
