sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
