Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
