i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
