trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
My ATM looks so different sober.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm just crazy horny about you
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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