just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
