Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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