What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
