on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
