Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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