just come out here and I will go home with you...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
