life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
