hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
