We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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