Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
