When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
