I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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