FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
