Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
