yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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