My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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